Home > Alpha Testing > Online and Off (Revision 1)

Online and Off (Revision 1)

for W.

I keep finding you as a friend of friends,
or in the spuriously precise terms of LinkedIn,
a 2nd degree connection. You’ve added
various certifications and jobs at companies
which weren’t even around in the days
we worked around a so-called platonic attraction.
The ways we fit together broke down under the strain.

Much of this wasn’t true.
What’s true was: a lemon-scented shampoo smell in a lobby;
the then-stylish bob from which you’ve moved,
on a fit, sun-damaged woman in a tennis dress;
the sound of a certain cultured accent;
a taste for Shiraz I still have,
and tell myself has nothing to do with you.

This frictionless conservation of momentum
this communication event horizon –
I could send this message to you right now
and there’d be only one reason
you wouldn’t answer.

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  1. July 23, 2012 at 12:03 am

    I often think it is better to leave a poem as it is and, instead of revising it, write a whole new poem that relies on intertextuality with the first. That might lead you to a lot of obsessive work and self-referencing, but on the other hand it might also lead you to a themed corpus full of ingenuity.

    M

    • July 23, 2012 at 12:07 am

      I think you’ve just hit on why I have so much obsessive, self- referential work!

      • July 23, 2012 at 12:13 am

        Oh just go for it and be danged! 😀

      • July 23, 2012 at 12:13 am

        🙂

  2. July 31, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    wow nice….the second stanza is a great rememberance…full of texture…intereting running into these people online that we once were connected too and now not…

  3. August 1, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I really like this – the end is appropriately blunt after the winding memories. So sad.

  4. August 2, 2012 at 9:10 am

    …thanks for putting into words what so many of us feel…to be reconnected with that someone whose attention was not requited…

  5. August 2, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    very cool 🙂

  6. lucychili
    August 3, 2012 at 6:21 am

    threads =)

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